Fly On
by Andrea187
Summary: So, after watching 6x23 I decided to write this little thing...and now that 7x01 came out, this is definitely AU, and is based on "Fly On" by Coldplay.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: **Hey guys! so after watching that finale, I gotta say I absolutely loved it, I decided to make this little thing...it is a one-shot for now, if you guys review and like it, I may write a few more chapters, so ENJOY AND REVIW!

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She just kept staring at the flames consuming Castle's car. She was stuck, right in front of the creak. Her body simply just couldn't react, because of the tsunami of emotions she was experiencing. She felt one single tear running down her cheek and many others blurring her vision. She could feel the heat of the fire on her skin, but not that she cared anyway. Her fiancé was down there, and it was almost as if she could feel his pain as if it were hers. It was surreal, something only happened in her nightmares. She saw almost in slow motion, when the firefighters arrived and worked to stop the fire, not that it was going to do anything because Castle was probably already dead. Then, she felt someone else's arms, pushing her behind a yellow tape she didn't even realized it was there. She just kept starring at the smoke coming from Castle's car, everything around her almost disappearing, as if nothing else mattered, which it didn't, not when her dreamed life had just ended in the worst way she could've ever imagined possible.

"Daddy!" It was only after Alexis' heart wrenching scream that Beckett was finally pulled from her trance. "Daddy!" She screamed again as Beckett practically ran towards her. They collided against each other, and held on trying their best to keep each other from collapsing. "No…please no…" the girl whimpered against Beckett's shoulder. The detective didn't say anything, just kept sobbing against Castle's daughter. She just couldn't find any words right now.

Neither of them realized that more people had arrived at the scene, including Castle's mother, who seemed to numb to even react about the situation, her father Jim, who had one hand around Martha's shoulder, Ryan, Esposito and Lanie. They all gather in front of the yellow tape, wanting to cross it and ask questions, but all of them too overwhelmed by the situation.

After what seemed like an eternity to Beckett, Chief Brady from the Hampton's police department approach them with a solemn expression on his face.

"Detective…"Brady started as he looked at the floor.

"Was Castle there?" Beckett heard Ryan ask. She couldn't bring herself to say anything.

"There uh…there is a body in the car…" Brady answered in a low voice.

"Oh…my god…" Martha said beside Beckett, who still wouldn't say anything.

"Ma'm we still need to confirm it with the Medical Examiner."

"I'm an ME, officer" Lanie said with a shaky voice. "Let me in, I can…"

"I…I don't think that's a good idea." Brady said somewhat insecure.

"Listen to me, this is Richard Castle we're talking about." Lanie snapped. "He, was gonna marry my best friend and he's my friend, so don't tell I can't get in, when I know I can help."

"Doctor, you're just too close to this, I don't think that would be…"

"Chief Brady…" Beckett finally spoke, her voice was raspy and barely above a whisper. "Let her in…let her examine…" Her voice broke. She couldn't bring herself to say the words body, or victim, or remains…it was all too fresh, she just couldn't. "Please…" She said, trying to compose herself. "Please Chief."

"Okay…" Brady conceded. "But the rest of you should go back to the house, I will update you once we have more information."

"Oh no, we're staying here." Alexis said through the tears. "I'm not gonna leave him."

"Alexis…" Martha started.

"No Grams! I need to be here…I need to know…" Then, she turned to Beckett. "Kate…I need…"

"I understand." Beckett whispered. " And I'm staying with you." Beckett said to the others resolutely. Martha just nodded and squeezed Beckett's shoulder.

"If that's the case, we're no leaving either." Ryan said, speaking for both him and Esposito.

"Fine, but you wait here until Dr…"

"Parish." Lanie said, already crossing the yellow tape

"Thank you…" Brady said. "Until Dr. Parish examines the remains."

Beckett followed Lanie with her eyes, until she disappeared behind Castle's car. A million thoughts were crossing her mind as she held on to Alexis as if she was a lifeline. To be honest, she didn't really know if finding out whether or not Castle was in that car would made her feel better. On one side, obviously she would be incredibly relieved that he didn't burn inside that hell, but on the other side she couldn't bare the anguish of not knowing where he could possibly be. Finally after what seemed like a lifetime to Beckett, Lanie finally approached. Her expression was unreadable, and she could feel Alexis' grape grow tighter.

"Lanie…" Beckett said with a shaky voice. The ME looked down. "Oh no…"

"I'm so sorry Kate…"

"Oh god…" Martha sobbed.

"Look we still need to confirm with DNA." Lanie said as if she was trying to convince Kate but also herself that it wasn't Castle in that car.

"The uh…the body you found…"Beckett stammered.

"Is male, tall, 40's." Lanie recited solemnly. She immediately saw the change on Beckett's eyes. Her once hazel green beautiful eyes, turned darker, as if something had died. Suddenly the spark that has accompanied her since Castle arrived was gone. "Kate…" Lanie touched her arm gently.

"I can't…I can't be here…" Beckett managed to say through the pain. Then, she turned around wanting to leave so bad…wanting to wake up from this nightmare. She knew this was not the time to breakdown, Alexis needed her, and she had promised Castle, but right now, she didn't feel like the all mighty Katherine Beckett, who lived fifteen years with the pain of her mother's murder. Right now, she feels like the one person, who hold her together, unbreakable was gone, and she didn't even had the chance to enjoy wonderful years with the love of her life. It all felt wrong. So she ran.

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**A/N: **Hope you liked it and please review! I love to hear constructive criticism!


	2. Chapter 2

**So, obviously it's been months since I've updated anything and for that I'm terribly sorry, but I just hadn't found the words or the story lines to keep going...I will keep trying though...anyway, another matter is that this just became AU since "Driven" already came out. Just for the record, I thought it was an amazing episode! I'm definitely looking forward to the new episodes.**

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It's been three months since the accident. Three months since Beckett saw Castle's car in flames and ran until her legs gave up. Everyone was back in New York, but not by choice. After finding out that Castle was not the one in the car, hope rose within each of them, but it soon dissipated when it became clear that whoever kidnapped Castle was more than capable of disappearing into thin air. Soon most of the leads they had turned into dead ends, and Beckett and the boys were left with only the ashes and the remains of a body that didn't even have an identity.

The sad and bitter feeling extended like a poison through the Castle home. The once vibrant and energetic place was now replaced by the grief and hopelessness that Beckett, Alexis and Martha were feeling. They hardly spoke to each other, either during breakfast, or sometimes when they would meet on the loft at random hours. Off course, they tried to stay positive, but the constant loss of leads, had cause them their optimism, though they knew Castle wouldn't have wanted that. However, when Beckett arrived at the loft after a particular stressful day at the precinct, she was greeted by the smell of pasta carbonara, and the active conversation between Martha and Alexis.

"Katherine, you got here just in time, the diner is almost ready." Martha greeted with her usual artistic flare.

"Thank you Martha, that smells delicious." Beckett replied. She sat on one of the chair in the kitchen table, next to Alexis. She noticed little Castle was anxious about something, but it wasn't a worrying anxiety like she previously had, this time it had a positive side about it. "So, what's going on?" Beckett asked.

"Well...we have some exciting news." Martha said cryptically.

"Which are...?" Beckett asked, still not understanding, and looking back at Alexis, who had a small smile on her face.

"I got the grant." Alexis said with a soft voice. For the past two months, Castle's daughter had been waiting on a reply from the dean for a grant for her research project.

"Wow! Congratulations Alexis! You deserve it..." Beckett stood up and hugged the youngster.

"Thank you, Kate." Alexis said with a trembling voice, just as the detective felt a tear fall on her shirt.

"Oh darling..." Martha went from the stove to hug Alexis as well. The older women both knew why she let down a few tears.

"Is okay Alexis..." Beckett said, gently caressing her back. "Is okay..."

"I just..." Alexis whispered. "I wished he was here..."

"I know..."Beckett replied, not knowing exactly what to say. "But hey..." Beckett took Alexis' face in her hands. "We're here to celebrate that, alright?" Alexis nodded. "We're gonna do it for him."

The rest of the evening the three women tried to keep on a light mood, and somewhat succeeding, making it a quiet yet happy evening, so that when they retired to their respective rooms, there was a positive feeling at the loft. As Beckett did her evening ritual before going to bed, she couldn't help but miss him. She got used to sharing the space with him, and having no one beside you was still hard for Beckett to get use to.

"I miss you so much." She said into his pillow, as she caressed it with her palm, and fell asleep.

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She arrived at the precinct at 8am, hoping to have some time to review Castle's case (Not that she didn't do that everyday). As the elevator doors opened, she saw that both Ryan and Esposito were already on their desk reading through some reports. Beckett really appreciated everything they have done related to Castle's case, and she couldn't be more grateful that they considered Castle like a brother. She gave a silent greet to the boys, and went to the break room to get her second cup of coffee of the day.

She had stopped using the espresso machine Castle gave them mainly because it was too painful for her. Instead she just keep instant in the cupboard. Although she needed coffee, she didn't want it to remind her of him, so she would only drink it for the caffeine rather than the flavor. Then, she took her steaming cup and put it on her desk, and sat down. There was something different on her desk that day. A package.

"What's this guys?" She asked taking the package to show it to the boys.

"Don't know Beckett it was there when we arrive." Esposito replied.

She looked at it suspiciously, but after seeing it was from Black Pawn, she came to the conclusion that there was nothing threatening inside it, though she felt a piercing pain to her heart. She knew what it was. It was Castle's book. She knew that it was done before the wedding, but he hadn't really talk about the release date, and Black Pawn hadn't said anything about it either. The thing that scared her more was reading the dedication, because Castle always wrote them at the end, and Beckett didn't want to feel her heart breaking all over again, specially not in the precinct. So, she put it in her bag and tried to forget about it until she got home.

"Is there anything new?" Beckett usually asked that question every morning, although she knew that there was nothing, most certainly.

"Nothing promising." Ryan said honestly.

"What about the black escalade?"

"The techs are still working on get a plate or any other detail that might help us find it, but it might take a while." Esposito recited as he look at Beckett. Her expression was unreadable, professional, but he could see her eyes go darker, and even a little misty. He hated seeing her that way, but he also knew for a fact that Beckett wanted them to tell her the truth about Castle's case. She trusted them to do it.

"Okay." She replied, and without anything else she dive in the paperwork from that morning.

It was past 3pm and they haven't received any phone call reporting a murder. So, since it was unlikely slow, the team of detectives decided to work on Castle's case as hard as they could. Suddenly a commotion broke their concentration. It appeared to come from the elevator, but they certainly didn't expect what they saw coming out of the elevator. It was Castle.

For Beckett it happened as if it was in slow motion. She got up and almost tripped, but never took her eyes from the man stumbling out of the elevator. It was so surreal. She didn't see how everyone at the precinct stood up to see what was going on because she only had eyes for Castle. He was about to fall, but luckily she caught him, and it felt like a bucket of ice was dropped on top of her. It was real. She could feel his weight on her, his smell, his irregular breathing caressing her neck. It was like time had frozen for them, and they were just holding each other so tight and scare to move, because this moment could just slip away at any minute. And then she heard his voice, breaking the little spell they had fallen into.

"Kate" His voice was hoarse, tired. Almost as if he had run a marathon to get to her. It was his voice that made her realize that his hold wasn't as strong as hers. It made Beckett realized that he was wet, and that was about to fall if she didn't take him someplace where she could lay him down.

"Oh Castle..." Beckett breathed. Her brain was a jumble of thoughts and feelings. "Uh...I need to...you need to sit down..." So she gently took him to the break room, just as she noticed how the precinct was in complete silence. However, as she took the first step, they almost fell on the floor, which was when Ryan and Esposito came immediately to help them.

"Holy crap bro you're alive!" Esposito said with his voice shaking.

"Thank god." Ryan said with tears in his eyes. Slowly, the three detectives took Castle to the couch in the break room. Beckett noticed that he was limping, and that he couldn't take a full deep breath.

They lay him on the couch, and Beckett crouched next to him, running her fingers through his hair. It was then when she noticed the dark red stains on his shirt. She noticed he had a gash on his forehead, which was beginning to heal. As her eyes scanned his almost unconscious self, she noticed other injuries as well. His fingers were disfigured, he had ligature marks on his neck, and she saw the start of a bruise where his shirt was open. She noticed he was dirty too. His pants and blazer had muddy stains, just like the ones mixed with blood on his white shirt.

"Oh my god Castle what did they do to you?" Beckett whispered, feeling a rebel tear running down her cheek.

"Beckett we need to get him to a hospital." Esposito said. She was about to nod, when Castle suddenly rose from the couch very agitated.

"No!" He said loudly. "No hospitals, please no hospitals, please I beg you." Castle whined.

"Hey Rick calm down..." Beckett said caressing his cheeks. "Calm down..." She whispered against his ear. Then she turned to Esposito. "Call Lanie." She ordered.

"On it." And with that Esposito exited the break room.

"Hey Babe, Esposito is calling Lanie right now, so that we can examine you." Beckett told Castle, who was in the verge on unconsciousness.

"No hospitals, just no hospitals please." Castle whispered.

"Okay...shhh...just relax..." Beckett kept running her hands through her fiancé's wet hair saying soft words of comfort into his ear, while she tried not to break down herself. "Is okay Rick, you're safe now...I'm not gonna let anything happen to you...you're gonna be okay." In that moment, Esposito arrived.

"Lanie will be here in 5min." He informed.

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Beckett didn't know how much time it passed, she just kept reassuring Castle that everything was gonna be alright, though she didn't know how much longer she could hold herself together, until she felt a hand on her shoulder.

"Sweetie, I'm here." Lanie said in a soft voice. "I'm gonna need you to step outside for a moment."

"Lanie..." Beckett pleaded with a small voice.

"It's just for a moment Kate." But Beckett didn't dare to move. "Is better that you're not present Beckett." Lanie said firmly in an all business tone, which finally made Beckett step out of the way.

In company of Ryan and Esposito, she looked through the window as the ME examined Castle throughly. However, she couldn't fully see the extend of his injuries other than what she noticed when he arrived at the precinct. She barely registered when Ryan brought her a can of soda from the vending machine, and she barely even noticed how long it has passed since Lanie was with Castle, though when Lanie finally came out, she immediately went into full attention mode.

"How is he?" Beckett asked.

"Well, there are good news and bad news." There was a pregnant pause. "The good news is that most of his injuries are actually healing, and that he doesn't seem to sustain life threatening injuries at the moment."

"And the bad news?" Esposito inquired.

"The gunshot wound to his leg looks infected, so it will take more time to heal, his hands are in bad shape too...it seems that someone broke some of his fingers and the fractures didn't heal properly, and..." Lanie's voice quivered at that point.

"And...what?" Esposito pressed.

"I think he might have sustained more brain damage than we originally thought." At that, Beckett's body ran cold.

"What do you mean?" Beckett asked.

"Well, even though he seems to recognize his surroundings and the people he know, I noticed he's still disoriented and had trouble communicating when I examined him."

"Trouble how?"

"He couldn't find the words to express himself. It was like he knew what he wanted to say, but he couldn't. Look, we still need to take him to a hospital as soon as possible."

"You didn't hear him Lanie, he begged us not to take him to a hospital, he was terrified of the thought." Beckett said.

"Kate this is not a question whether or not he wants to go. I'm telling you, a hospital is the only place that they can take of him in a way that none of us can't."

"I'll call the ETMs." Ryan said and went to make the phone call.

"I know this is not what you want Kate, but giving his condition is the only solution...I know you know it deep inside." Lanie squeezed Beckett's hands gently, as the detective let out a sigh. "I'll tell the paramedics to let you be with him the whole ride." Beckett just nodded, and without further words, she went into the break room to be with Castle.

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**Thank you for reading...Please review!**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Thank you for those who reviewed this story...I will keep trying to continue it, despite of the answers we'll get on "Montreal". I hope you enjoy this chapter.**

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To say it was difficult to take Castle to the hospital would be an understatement. Not only they had to sedate him, they restrained him too, so that he wouldn't harm himself, or so Beckett was told. However, she couldn't help but thinking that whatever happened to Castle it probably involved restrains and sedatives, which ultimately made her feel even worse if that was even possible.

Three hours had passed since they arrived at the hospital, and Beckett couldn't be anymore restless. She had called Martha and Alexis and told them what happened, carefully omitting the fact that Castle was having trouble communicating. As she sat on the uncomfortable plastic chair, with her fourth cup of coffee in hand, Beckett just kept thinking about what might have happened to him. Lanie had said that most of his injuries were healing already, but what about the reason why he got them? Was it because of the car crash? Or someone else did that to him. Also, she couldn't be sure how possible it was that Castle could've been in New York during those months, or that he could've been taken from one place to another to keep one step ahead of both the FBI and the police. Beckett was so deep in her thoughts she didn't registered when Martha and Alexis approached her in the waiting room.

"Kate..." Beckett finally heard Alexis' voice like an echo in her mind.

"Mmm?" The detective looked up to find the blue eyes of Castle's daughter starring back a her. "Sorry Alexis, I must've drifted off."

"Yeah, we noticed." Alexis replied with a tiny sad smile.

"Sorry...uh...I'm glad you made it." Beckett stood up and hugged both women.

"How is he Katherine?"

"He's uh...alive." Once more she felt like she was gonna break down at any moment, but managed to control her emotions. "He arrived at the precinct...confused to say the least."

"Was he injured?" Alexis asked.

"Yeah..." Beckett answered, opting for telling Castle's daughter the truth. "Lanie said that most of his injuries were actually healing already, but that the gunshot wound in his leg was infected, so it will take more time to heal."

"Did he say where he'd been?" But before Beckett could answer that, the doctor came in, and the three women practically run towards him.

"How is he?" Beckett asked, echoing Alexis' early question.

"We're hopeful that he will make a full recovery." The doctor said, however he didn't say whether Castle was fine or not.

"Hopeful?"

"How about we go into the conference room, and I can explain everything about Mr. Castle's condition thoroughly." With that they all went to a small conference room not far from the waiting area. When they all sat down, the doctor took a deep breath. "As soon as Mr. Castle arrived, we performed a number of tests in order to have a better comprehension of his health. With that being said, Mr. Castle has sustained different injuries, some of which have already healed. Some others, like the gunshot wound on his leg was deeply infected, therefore he is now on a fierce treatment of antibiotics in order to fight the infection. There were also some bruised ribs, which was very recent, I would say 2 or 3 days ago, fortunately we didn't see any signs of fluid or collapsed lungs."

"What about his brain?" Beckett asked.

"What do you mean his brain? What's wrong with his brain Kate?" Alexis demanded, as she started to grow anxious.

"Althought we didn't find any kind of evidence in Mr. Castle's head scan that could indicate there was some kind of brain trauma, we did find external indications that someone indeed opened his head on the temporal lobe area." The doctor replied.

"Does that mean that someone tried to repair whatever happened to him and wasn't successful?" Beckett tried not to imagine under what conditions Castle was in at the time, since it would definitely break her apart.

"It is a possibility, but because the scar was mostly healed, and his head scans came back clean, we really have no way of knowing what happened, however it does explain why he's having trouble communicating and organizing verbal patterns." They fell into an awkward silence, in which the three women were trying to process everything that the doctor had said.

"Can we see him?" Beckett inquired in a voice that didn't feel like her own.

"Sure, I'll take you right to him."

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The hospital room he was in was so much different from the one in DC.

It was dark and strangely cold, it had one tiny window with the curtain closed, given a disgustingly sense of tragedy, and it was definitely smaller.

And then there was Castle. He looked cleaner and definitely more relaxed. The worry lines that Beckett saw during the ride to the hospital even when he was sedated, were not present right now. It Beckett a sense of reassurance. However, he was still restrain. He had a bandage on the side of his forehead where the gash was, an IV attached to his forearm, and from his chest, wires came out as to monitor his heart and vitals. They all stayed at the feet of Castle's bed, not daring to move or say anything, afraid to break the calmness that surrounded the room.

"If there is anything you need, please do not hesitate to page me." The doctor said, recovering first, and leaving the room, so that the Castle family could have some private time with Castle's sleeping form. Both Martha and Alexis approached him first, gently caressing his face and arm.

"Hi dad, welcome back." Alexis whispered as she kissed him on his forehead. Martha however, didn't say anything, which was very unlike herself, but then again Beckett could understand her.

Beckett also didn't say anything, but she didn't make a move to get closer to him either. She just stood at the feet of the bed, gently grabbing one of Castle's foot and reassuring herself that he was there and was alive. They stayed in silence, while they were listening to Castle's heartbeat on the monitor, each of them submerged in their own thoughts. After some time, they heard Castle weakly trying to clear his throat.

"Castle?" It was only in that moment when she finally came beside him and took his hand in hers. "Can you hear me?" The other women approached as well, as Castle continued to fight whatever discomfort he felt on his throat, but didn't open his eyes.

"Richard, can you open your eyes?" Martha whispered. His eyelids fluttered, but his eyes didn't open. Yet, Beckett could tell that he was trying and for some reason he couldn't.

"Castle is okay...take your time..." Beckett said in a soft voice against his ear. "There's no rush...is okay..." Finally, his eyes opened, but they were foggy and confused. "Hey..." She whispered and stroke his cheek with the back of her fingers. He kept looking at her, as to make some sense of what she was saying.

"Kate..." He replied weakly, with a hoarse voice as Beckett let out a sigh of relief.

"Dad..." Alexis was immediately on his other side, along with Martha.

"Alexis..." At that sound Castle's daughter couldn't help but letting out a few tears.

"Oh...Alexis...is okay..." Castle tried to console her, but when he tried to lift his hand he realized he was wearing restrains on his wrists. "What...?" He started to panic and the monitors started to louder and faster. "What is...what is...this...Kate?" Castle looked at Beckett completely terrified as he tried to get up, when Beckett stopped him, but it only made him more agitated.

"Hey Castle..." Beckett commanded. "Is okay, I will remove those, just calm down okay?" Beckett quickly removed the Velcro restrains with shaky hands and them ran her fingers through his hair, trying to calm him down. "Is okay...you're safe...I'm sorry..." Eventually he calmed down. He turned to Alexis again.

"You look...uh...you look..." He tried to say to his daughter. "Uh..." He went quiet for a few seconds, concentrating as much as he could to find the words. "Okay...you look okay." He finally said giving her a small smile.

"Thanks dad." She returned with a watery smile as well. None of them commented on how difficult was for Castle to communicate. Now Beckett understood what Lanie had said about it. "I'm so glad you're home." Then, she kissed him again.

"Mother..." Castle said, turning to Martha, who hadn't said a word since he woke up. "You're awfully quiet." She just smiled.

"Well Richard, I was just looking at your unkempt appearance." Castle let out a small chuckle. "After everything I taught you about self image darling." She looked down and grabbed his hand.

"Sorry mother, I've been uh..." his voice died as he tried to find the words and Beckett felt the frustration going through his mind, as the one thing that he wanted to do was to keep up with the good mood, but his failure in finding the words only reminded him of all he'd been through. "I've been...busy...with uh...with...uh...other things..." He let out a sigh of frustration. In that moment Ryan and Esposito arrived.

"Look who decided to appear." Esposito greeted. "I don't know how much longer I would've tolerated Ryan mopping around like a sad puppy." Castle laughed when Ryan gave him an annoyed look.

"I wasn't mopping around." Ryan defended. "But is good to have you back."

"Good to be back." Castle answered simply. Beckett could tell he didn't want to show his problem to Ryan or Esposito.

"Well..." Martha said. "As much as I would love to stay longer, I feel like I haven't slept in days, so goodnight everybody." Then, she came closer to Castle and kissed him on the forehead. "I will be back tomorrow darling." and with that she left the room. Not that Castle didn't know what his family must've been through in the last three months, but it was only until now that he noticed how exhausted both his daughter and fiance looked.

"Alexis..." Castle said hoarsely. "You too."

"I just got here." She replied.

"You're tired." He stated, not taking any excuses. They looked at each other for a second, until Alexis finally conceded.

"I'll be here tomorrow."

"Tomorrow." He said as Alexis left the room. As he looked into the three detective's expression, he knew they wanted answers, but he was really tired and so were they. Maybe tomorrow would be better. "Guys...I'm sorry...I...I...don't have the...uh...I don't have the uh..." He hated this. Not being able to find the words.

"Take it easy Castle..." Ryan said soothingly. "You don't have to give us any answers right now." He complemented and they all saw Castle relaxing a little as they knew what he wanted to say.

"Okay." Castle conceded.

"Anyway, we just came by to see how you were doing, we'll see you tomorrow." Esposito said as both him and Ryan were leaving. "Is good to have you back bro."

"Thanks." Castle gave them an appreciative smile, and then turned to Beckett. "You also."

"I want to stay a bit longer if it's alright with you." She replied knowing what he meant, after Castle gave her a look she added. "I will get some rest afterwards, I promise." Then, she sat down on a chair next his bed, never leaving his hand.

"Love you." Castle closed his eyes and tried to relax under Beckett's gentle caresses.

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**A/N: Hope you enjoyed it, and please review, because I appreciate them very much.**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: I apologize for the delay, I was trying to figure out where I will take this story...anyway...I know this chapter is a bit short, but just bare with me...**

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The first thing Castle felt when he regained conscious again was the gentle touch of his fiancée running her fingers through his disheveled hair. It felt glorious, to have her by his side again. To feel that sense of security, care, and love again. Castle didn't know if Beckett could tell that he was conscious, nor he cared in any way. He wanted to stay in that small bubble for as long as possible. It kept him from facing what he went through. He knew he needed to explain to everyone what happened, but he wasn't sure how to do it, if he cold barely communicate, much less tell his story, which he certainly didn't want to relive it again. He realized he couldn't fake it any longer, as Beckett moved her fingers from his hair to his cheek. It was his signal to open his eyes.

"I can hear you thinking all the way over here Castle." Beckett greeted.

"You…" Castle started. "You…uh…didn't leave."

"I was going to." Beckett let out a small smile. "But you woke up before I could." There was a small pause, in which Castle seemed to process what she just said to him. "Hey, Castle…you okay?" He still didn't answered her. "Can you hear me?" She asked getting a little worried. He closed his eyes in an annoying way.

"Yes Beckett, I heard you." He said letting out a sigh. "I just need a little bit of time to….uh….I need time to….uh…" He grunted. "I just need time." He snapped.

"Oh I'm sorry for worrying about you after you've been gone for three months!" She replied. The fell into an awkward silence, both of them realizing how hard was going to be to get back on their feet.

"I'm sorry." Castle whispered. Beckett didn't say anything, instead, she just looked down at her shoes. Then, he took Beckett's hand, so that she would look at him. "It's hard." There was a mixture of sadness, impotence, and frustration in his eyes, that made Beckett's gaze softened.

"I couldn't agree with you more." Beckett replied. "But we'll get through this. I know it won't be easy, but then again, things have never been easy between you and me." She kissed him gently on his forehead. There was a knock on the door. It was Ryan and Esposito.

"Hey Castle, how are you feeling?" Ryan greeted quietly. Castle knew what they were here for. But he wasn't ready yet.

"Okay." Castle answered.

"Look bro, we know this isn't the best time, but there won't be a better one." Esposito said, trying to keep his voice calm and business like. "Can you tell us what happened?"

"I can try..." Castle answered weakly.

"That's alright bro, no pressure...just tell us what you can." Esposito said empathically.

"Okay..." Castle breathed, trying to brace himself. "Okay...I was...I was...in the...car..."

"On you way to the wedding..." Beckett completed, and he nodded, grateful.

"Then...another one...black..."

"The Escalade." Ryan said. Castle nodded again.

"It uh..." Castle looked at the ceiling, hoping to find the words. "It..uh...hit me...Then I fell...it was uh...black...again"

"You're doing good Castle." Ryan encouraged him. "What happened next?"

"I woke up in some...in some...uh...place..." Castle said with notable frustration.

"Can you tell us about this place?" Esposito asked.

"No." Castle answered with disturbing clarity.

"No?" Esposito repeated not understanding.

"No."

"Why?" Ryan asked, trying to be gentle, but sounding more incredulous than ever.

"I can't." Castle said in a low voice.

"Is okay Castle you don't have to tell us right now." Beckett intervened with a sympathetic smile. "Guys, I think this is enough for now." She looked seriously at the voice.

"Wait..." Esposito stopped and turned to Castle again. "What do you mean you can't tell us?"

"Javi, come on..." Ryan tried to grab him from the cuff of his jacket.

"Is a simple answer." Esposito argued. "Castle come on..."

"Please leave now." Castle whispered. He was becoming agitated, and certainly Beckett wasn't gonna allow that.

"Espo that's enough." Beckett warned.

"Castle..." Esposito insisted.

"I can't!" Castle yelled. "I can't!...I can't!" He start running his hand through his hair and pulling it so hard, he was surely hurting himself.

"Woah Rick calm down!" Beckett said loudly as she tried to pull his hands from his head. "Babe calm down..." Then, she brought his head to her chest and tried to calm him down. "Calm down...calm down...is okay...you're okay...you're safe here...calm down..." She kept whispering until his breath evened a little.

"Come on!" Ryan snapped at his partner, and they both left the room.

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**A/N: Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed it and please review! **


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: So it's been like forever since I updated this...I feel like a horrible person because the only excuse that I have is that I didn't know what to write about...I will definitely continue this story...but it may be a long wait...so I'm just putting that out there...Please understand...**

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_Previously on Fly On..._

_"Look bro, we know this isn't the best time, but there won't be a better one." Esposito said, trying to keep his voice calm and business like. "Can you tell us what happened?"_

_"I can try..." Castle answered weakly._

_"That's alright bro, no pressure...just tell us what you can." Esposito said empathically._

_"Okay..." Castle breathed, trying to brace himself. "Okay...I was...I was...in the...car..."_

_"On you way to the wedding..." Beckett completed, and he nodded, grateful._

_"Then...another one...black..."_

_"The Escalade." Ryan said. Castle nodded again._

_"It uh..." Castle looked at the ceiling, hoping to find the words. "It..uh...hit me...Then I fell...it was uh...black...again"_

_"You're doing good Castle." Ryan encouraged him. "What happened next?"_

_"I woke up in some...in some...uh...place..." Castle said with notable frustration._

_"Can you tell us about this place?" Esposito asked._

_"No." Castle answered with disturbing clarity._

_"No?" Esposito repeated not understanding._

_"No."_

_"Why?" Ryan asked, trying to be gentle, but sounding more incredulous than ever._

_"I can't." Castle said in a low voice._

_"Is okay Castle you don't have to tell us right now." Beckett intervened with a sympathetic smile. "Guys, I think this is enough for now." She looked seriously at the voice._

_"Wait..." Esposito stopped and turned to Castle again. "What do you mean you can't tell us?"_

_"Javi, come on..." Ryan tried to grab him from the cuff of his jacket._

_"Is a simple answer." Esposito argued. "Castle come on..."_

_"Please leave now." Castle whispered. He was becoming agitated, and certainly Beckett wasn't gonna allow that._

_"Espo that's enough." Beckett warned._

_"Castle..." Esposito insisted._

_"I can't!" Castle yelled. "I can't!...I can't!" He start running his hand through his hair and pulling it so hard, he was surely hurting himself._

_"Woah Rick calm down!" Beckett said loudly as she tried to pull his hands from his head. "Babe calm down..." Then, she brought his head to her chest and tried to calm him down. "Calm down...calm down...is okay...you're okay...you're safe here...calm down..." She kept whispering until his breath evened a little._

_"Come on!" Ryan snapped at his partner, and they both left the room._

_xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx_

"He's hiding something." Esposito said.

"Don't you think he's been through enough, and he doesn't need any of us making stupid accusations?" Ryan replied.

"Well, I'm sorry for being the only objective person here bro." Esposito fired back. "Look, there's no medical evidence that Castle is actually brain damaged...what if he's faking it?"

"You know what, _Bro_? I know that you can be a jackass sometimes, that for some reason you enjoy to make Castle's life hell and yet you call yourself his friend. But when it really counts, when Castle needs us to support him and trust him, and making him feel safe, is like you're his worst enemy. This _objectivity_ of yours, sounds more like betrayal, and _I_ won't stand and do nothing about it, so you can either think about what the hell are you doing with your suppose _friendship_ with Castle, or..." Ryan took a breath. He was livid with his partner, and definitely wasn't gonna shut up about it. "Or you get the hell away from him, and Beckett for that matter...she doesn't need someone who's only gonna question Castle's _clear_ innocence."

With that, Ryan left, leaving Detective Esposito stunned and unable to move from where he was standing. Neither of them knew that both Castle and Beckett had listened to the entire argument.

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The only sound coming from Castle's room, was the steady beep that showed Castle's heart rate. Both him and Beckett were just starring at each other stunned by what they just heard right outside. Neither of them thought Ryan would break like that, though they both knew that the Irish detective was very close to Castle, and was one of the most affected during the time he was missing. However, neither of them actually thought that Esposito would say something like that, and the worst part was that it was only going to increase the tension between the four of them.

"I..." Castle started, but no words came out. "I don't uh..." he looked up, as if some higher power could give him the words he wanted to say.

"I'm sorry." Beckett said lowly. "I'm sorry that Esposito thinks like that. You..." Her voice quivered. "You of all people deserve complete trust." And then, she leaned on his shoulder and let out a few tears of anger towards Javier.

"Hey...no...Kate..." Castle brought up one finger to gently caress her forearm. "You...uh...you can't...uh...what's the word?" Castle said under his breath. "You can't...uh...is not your fault." Castle said finally.

"I know that...or at least my mind does. But is just that I can't help thinking that it's so unfair that after everything you went through, you can't even get support from your friends." Beckett replied.

"He'll come around." Castle assured her. Beckett didn't respond, so they just kept holding each other, reaffirming once again that they were together again after three months. "You know...uh...I...uh...it's not that I...It's not that I don't want to tell you..." Beckett looked at Castle, with a mix of curiosity and worry in her eyes. "I just...It's just..."Castle looked up with watery eyes in frustration. "It's just that..."

"Hey..." Beckett said softly, but Castle wouldn't look at her. "Castle look at me..." She gently brought her hand to his cheek and lowered his head, so that he was looking at her. "I don't know what you went through. I only know that what they did to you was horrible..." He closed his eyes and leaned into her touch. "And trust me, I want that whoever did this to you...pays for it, in the worst way possible, but before anything like that...I want you to be okay." She couldn't believe she was about to cry again, though it had been a very emotional hours lately. "The most important thing to me right now, is you. And as much as we all want to know what happened, I've also seen how shaken up you get when you think about it, so...I need you to take all the time you need...I don't want the answers right now if it means to see you suffer..." With that, he kissed her. It was sweet and slow, as if he were thanking her.

"You're...extraordinary..." He said with a watery smile. She let out a small laugh.

"You're not so bad yourself Castle."

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They were moving. Again. His head was spinning, and the pain was as if they were stabbing his brain with hundreds of needles. Castle tried to concentrate on his surroundings rather than the pain, and judging by the hard metallic floor underneath him, he was probably in a van again. His hands, painfully tied behind his back were sloppily splintered to keep his broken fingers straight. They didn't hurt though. They were numb, like his fingers were replaced with useless dead meat.

Then, he opened his eyes hoping to see anything, but let out a frustration breath as they had put a black hood over his head, preventing him from seeing anything. Castle also tried to hear for sounds outside that might've give him any indication as where they were at the moment, but the only sounds were that of the tires rolling on what seemed like an unpaved road, as well as the roar of the engine running.

As the van passed through some kind of crack that made Castle jump a little, hitting himself in the head again. Groaning, he tried to sit up and lean against one side of the van in order to be more stable. Castle tried to concentrate on the conversation the driver was having in the phone, as he didn't hear any other voices coming from the front seats.

"We're about ten to fifteen minutes from the extraction point." said the man in an straight-to-business voice. "The subject is conscious at the moment."

"Damn..." Castle cursed under his breath. Even though he was still groggy, he wished he would've been able to move unnoticed.

"Yes sir." the man said. "Roger that." and then he stopped talking.

Ten minutes later, the van stopped. Castle heard the driver's door opened, and so he braced himself for whatever was coming. Then, there was a tiny light coming through the hood as the driver opened the back door of the van.

"Time to get out Mr. Castle." the man said pulling Castle from his shirt out of the van. Unceremoniously, Castle fell on the dirt, hitting his knees. His head was spinning so bad he couldn't lift his head.

"Why..." Castle spoke, though he realized that his mouth and throat were as dry as sand. "Why are they doing this to me?" But the guy didn't answer him, and instead he felt the poke of a needle, and then he lost consciousness. Again. Shit, he was getting really tired of the endless blackness that absorbed him whole.

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**A/N: Hope you enjoyed it...Please review as it is my only way of knowing if you liked it...see you in the next chapter.**


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